Development of inexpensive, disposable, use-at-home, personalised health wearables can revolutionise clinical trial design and clinical care. Recent approaches have focused on electronic skins, which are complex systems of sensors and wiring produced by integration of multiple materials and layers. The requirement for high-end clean room microfabrication techniques create challenges for the development of such devices. Drawing inspiration from the ancient art of henna tattoos, where an artist draws designs directly on the hand by extruding a decorative ink, we developed a simple strategy for direct writing (3D printing) of bioelectronic sensors on textile. The sensors are realised using a very limited set of low-cost inks composed only of graphite flakes and silicone. By adapting sensor architectures in two dimensions, we produced electromyography (EMG), strain and pressure sensors. The sensors are printed directly onto stretchable textile (cotton) gloves and function as an integrated multimodal monitoring system for hand function. Gloves demonstrated functionality and stability by recording simultaneous readings of pinch strength, thumb movement (flexion) and EMG of the abductor pollicis brevis muscle over 5 days of daily recordings. Our approach is targeted towards a home based monitoring of hand function, with potential applications across a range of neurological and musculoskeletal conditions.